complicity ?

I thought it would be better if I seemed like a happy kid. So I became the staunchest ally of this silence, and in certain way, complicit in this violence (and I can't stop asking myself, years later, what the real meaning of complicity is, what the boundaries are that separate complicity from active participation, from innocence, from carelessness, from fear).

- The End of Eddy, Eduard Louis (2014)