had i not also suffered

I could see how difficult the distance I had kept had been for her to deal with. (...) How had it been for me, the person responsible for it? Had I not also suffered, but in a different way, one delineated in the Freudian vision of "melancholy," associated with an unavoidable mourning of the various possibilities one sets aside, the various identifications one rejects? 

- Retruning to Reims, Didier Eribon (2009)